Showing posts with label Funny Facebook Status. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Facebook Status. Show all posts

Happy Holi 2015 Status For Whatsapp and Facebook

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We Have Beautiful Holi Status in Hindi 2015 For Facebook and Whatsapp. You Can Free Download Holi Facebook and Whats app status in hindi Fonts. We Have Best Holi Status in Hindi, Holi Love Status For Girl Friend and Boyfriend. Lots of happy Holi quotes, Happy Holi SMS, Short happy holi status, 2 line holi status For her & him, Funny Holi Status for Family and Friends, Quotes in Hindi, Cute Holi Statuses, Funny Holi Status. A Collection of Special Happy Holi Status Messages, Best Status for Holi 2015. Wish You Happy Holi 2015.


Dil ne ek baar aur humara kehna maana h,
Es holi pe phir unhe rangne jaana hain…
Es baar holi aisi manaunga,
Khud ko kar k kala pila, teri gali pahuch jaunga…
Lal, gulabi, neela, pila hathon me rang liye samet,
Holi ke din rangenge sajni, kar ke meethi bhent…
Badri chai hai Fagun ki, Fir hurdang machaenge,
Ek rang me sabko rangkar, Fir se holi manaenge,
Holi, holi hoti hai use Diwali mat samajhna ,
Hum tumhare ghar aaye to hume Mawali mat samajna 
Rang nahi umang nahi thi, Khushion ki koi bhang nahi thi,
Aisi thi taqdeer meri ki, Holi ki hurdang nahin thi….
पिचकारी की धार, गुलाल की बौछार,
अपनों का प्यार, यही है यारों होली का त्यौहार.
प्यार के रंगों से भरो पिचकारी,स्नेह के रंगों से रंग दो दुनिया सारी
ये रंग न जाने न कोई जात न बोली, सबको हो मुबारक ये हैप्पी होली!

 राधा के रंग और कन्हैया के पिचकारी,प्यार के रंग से रंग दी दुनिया सारी
ये रंग न जाने न कोई जात न कोई बोली, मुबारक हो सबको रंगों की होली
रंगों में घुली लड़की क्या लाल गुलाबी है,जो देखता है कहता है क्या माल गुलाबी है
पिछले बरस तूने जो भिगोया था होली में, अब तक निशानी का वो रुमाल गुलाबी है।

होली के इस शुभ अवसर पर आपको और आपके परिवार को हमारी ओर से हार्दिक शुभकामनायें
होली के रंग मुझे रंग नहीं पाएंगे, तेरा रंग उतरे तो कोई और रंग चढ़े !!!
होली में तुम करो टोटल मस्ती, तुम्हें मिले सच्चा प्यार और दोस्ती! शुभ होली
होली के पावन अवसर पे आपको रंग भरी शुभकामनायें
डियर फ्रेंड्स, होली पे भांग कम पियो और मस्ती पूरी करो. एंजॉय होली
होली के इस शुभ अवसर पे, उल्लास और उमंग से हो आपका दिन रंगीन

Happy-Holi-status
Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
¢â‚¬Å“Happy Holi¢â‚¬Â.
Na zuban se,
Na nigaho se,
Na dimag se,
Na rango se,
Na Greeting se,
Na Gifts se,
Direct dil se *AAP* ko;
"HAPPY HOLY"
Dil mai utha tufan bheja hai,
aapse na mil pane ka malal bheja hai
waqt mile to thoda sa yaad karna
aapke dost ne holi ka ram ram bheja hai…
Nature ka har rang ap pe barse, Har koi apse holi khelne ko tarse; Rangde aapko sab itna, K aap rang chhudane ko tarse. Enjoy colors.
Aaj Mubarak,
Kal Mubarak,
Holi Ka har Pal Mubarak,
Rang Birangi Holi me,
Mera Bhi Ek Rang Mubarak –
Wishing you a very colourful Happy Holi
May god sprey colors of success and prosperity over u ..
have a joys holi
Chahe Ho Yeh Feeka Ya Gahera;
Holi Ka Har Rang Kuchh Kehta Hai;
Gulaal Ka Rang Mujhe Maloom Nahi;
Par Rishto Ka Rang Pyaara Hota Hai!
Happy Holi!
HOLI KE KHUBSURAT RANGO KI TARAH
AAPKO OR AAPKE PURE PARIVAR KO
HAMARI TARAF SE BAHUT BAHUT RANGO
BHARI UMANGO BHARI SHUBHKAMNAYE
Shradha sadbhawna masti aur bhaichare ka hai tyohar,
Rango se jode mohabbat ke taar,
Har taraf ho rango ki bahar,
Wish you a “Happy Holi”.
Happy-Holi
Kadam kadam per khushian rahe,
Gum se kabhi na ho samana,
Jindagi main har pal khushiyan nasib ho,
Meri taraf se holi ki subhakamana

 Khushiyan ho overflow,masti kabhi na ho low.
Dosti ka surur chhaya rahe,jeb me bhari maya rahe.
Shohrat ki ho bauchhar,aise aaye aapke liye
HOLI ki bahar.

 Phagun ro mahino ayo,ayo Holi ro tivar, jumo, 
nacho, rang udao, khushi manao apar, Holi ro 
ram ram. Happy Holi 2u n ur family.
Rango se bi rangeen zindgi hai hamari,
rangeeli rahe ye bandgi hamari
kabhi na bigde ye pyaar ki rangoli
aye mere yaar aisi ho holi~HOLI~………
Pyar sneh samarpan dular mohabbat
sadbhawna sadvichar in saat rango ki
rahe baucchar aaj ka din laye aapke jeevan
me satrangi bahar. HAPPY HOLI !!…….
Puranmashi ka chand,
chand se uski chandni boli,
khushion se bhare sabki jholi,
MUBARAK ho apko pyari HOLI….

 Chandan ki khushbu, Resham ka haar!
fagun ki fhuhaar, rango ki bhahar!
Dil ki ummide apno ka pyaar
Mubaarak ho apako “HOLI KA TYOHAAR
Rango ki varsha,
gulal ki phuhar,
suraj ki kirne,
kushiyon ki bauchar,
chandan ki kusbhu,
apno ka pyar,
mubarak ho apko holi ka tyohar !!……
Aaj woh din hai jab aap kisi ke bhi Selfie ko apna bata ke chep sakte hain.. kyunki sab ek hello jaise dikhenge. 

Holi ke is shubh avsar pe, aapko aur aapke parivar ko hamari or se hardik shubhkamnayein

Holi mein tum karo complete masti, tumhein mile sachha pyar aur dosti, Happy Holi

Holi ke paawan avsar pe aapko rang bhari shubhkamnayein

Pricey Buddies, On this holi Bhang kam piyo aur masti poori karo. Get pleasure from Holi

 Holi ke is shubh avsar pe, ullas aur umang se ho aapka din rangeen

Cool and Funny Status updates Facebook | What's app

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Facebook is the best platform for social interaction between friends and peoples. showing what's your mood on Facebook. Facebook has never been easier with latest status updates and posts. On facebookstatus99.com you can find best collection of best status for facebook, funny statuses for facebook, status updates for facebook every type of facebook statuses and quotes for your post.


  • For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.
  • Some of my friends are like a slinky – completely useless, but fun to push down stairs.
  • Is On The Toilet (>_<) (o_o) (0_0) ~ (^_^) Ahhhhhhhh That`s Better. 
  • I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
  • I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights. 
  • I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
  • Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying “OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM”
  • LIKE if you have that one friend that Laughs at everything. Even when it’s not funny.
  • “Was that lightning?!” “No, they’re taking pictures for Google earth…”
  • Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook.
  • If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.
  • If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
  • That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper”.
  • The best feature of the iPhone is the feature that keeps you from getting pushed in the pool.
  • When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation.
  • When I order coffee or whatever from starbucks and they ask me for my name I like to look at their name tag and then just say their name and then they’re always like nooo wayyy that’s my name too and then I’m also like noo wayyy and I always expect them to give me something for free because we have the same name but they never do
  • I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong
  • when a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.:D
  • AATCHOO! …….?(-??~•~)?……. If you`re allergic to bullshit, drama, liars, and 2-faced people, LIKE to keep this sneeze going.
  • My grandma has always told me that if you have nothing good to say then don’t say anything at all, yet people still wonder why I am so quiet (:
  • That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
  • That awkward moment when you’re trying to ignore a call and accidentally answer it.
  • Never look back. If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she would not had become a princess.:D
  • That awesome moment when you got a question wrong on a test but your teacher accidentally marked it correct.
  • If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
  • A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
  • If I opened a camera store called Photo Shop, do you think I’d get sued by Adobe?
  • Somebody slowly drove by my apartment around 3am this morning blasting not rap, not rock, but organ music. I’m pretty sure it was the Phantom of the Opera.
  • Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face… Yes my kids found my Sharpie stash.
  • You know you’re getting old when the guys from the “cialis” commercials are starting to look hot.
  • Women love the winter because they don’t have to shave their legs. I think it’s time for me to shave though…my giraffe tattoo has a mustache!
  • 1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don’t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.
  • Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
  • If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
  • Wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
  • Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
  • One day a chicken crossed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!
  • Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like
  • status: I can’t log into facebook
  • Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
  • Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
  • If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
  • I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!
  • Girls spend the first 10 years of their lifes playing with barbies. The next 10 years of their lifes they try to look like one. (;
  • Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
  • Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
  • I used to play sports alot. Until, recently I realized that trophies are much cheaper than I ever imagined they were. You know what, now I’m good at everything.
  • I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.
  • Mom always said not to write on walls…but apparently on Facebook you can.
  • Warning!!! Aliens are coming to abduct all the sexy, beautiful people!! Don’t worry…you are OK. I just wanted to say “good-bye!” 

Awesome Status for Facebook

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Now you can update your Facebook Status according to your mood. If you are in fun loving or humorous mood and want to update your Facebook Status according to your present mood. Collection of all type funny Facebook status messages, COOL Facebook status ideas, Relationship status, best messages, sad whatsapp emoticon status etc.



  1. Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt by someone you trust.
  2. Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell. ~ Anonymous
  3. It only hurts when you love someone and you know they don't love you back.
  4. Don't mind the weather, it's raining in my heart tonight
  5. I don't think we love each other in the same way. And...I think keeping you near me, would destroy me. ― S.C. Stephens, Thoughtless
  6. The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.
  7. LOVING MIGHT BE A MISTAKE, BUT IT'S WORTHS MAKING.!
  8. “Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”
  9. Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.
  10. If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it
  11. Going for Aerospace Engineering. Meri future GF ko bohat space milega
  12. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture they hands you the camera.
  13. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
  14. I knew, I was born to be a pessimist. Because My blood group type is B Negative
  15. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong
  16. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
  17. “You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub… and you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.” – Anthony Jeselnik
  18. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it
  19. When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails
  20. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
  21. The “Night Out” ever…… but I don’t know why they took me to police station. Am I Famous??
  22. One day I am gonna win….. I can wait till mah death for it.
  23. If you’re talking abt me behind mah back….. go ahead this is the best angel to kiss mah ass!
  24. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status :P 
  26. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein
  27. “And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.”–Across the Universe by Beth Revis
  28. Falling in love is only half of what I want. Staying in love with you till forever is the other.
  29. Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one. ~John Keats
  30. "I know he's a player, but I want to be the girl that he hangs up his jersey for and leaves the game”
  31. "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
  32. 'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.' -Rosanne Barr
  33. ”We see all beautiful and colorful things in dis world from our BLACK n WHITE eyes!”

Very Funny Statuses for Facebook

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Are you trying to find a Facebook condition, quote, or stating? facebook status99 has the largst collection of hilarious facebook status as well as funny tweets. If you ant much more suches as on your Facebook status or more retweets on Twitter after that you've pertained to the ideal website. Elect your favored hilarious conditions, upload your very own, or find the very best funny status to publish on your Facebook or Twitter.

Whether you're trying to find that ridiculous facebook status that'll get hundreds of likes or an unforgettable method to proclaim your appreciate to that somebody special. You've found the best site! We have thousands of the cool, best, witty, humorous, crazy, relationship and just foolish facebook status when it comes to even more gathering daily.

Search our classifications over as well as replicate the standing you like. Also, be certain to include that perfect status to our collection for everyone to delight in by clicking the Add Your Own Status button below.

  • I want an auctioneer to read my eulogy.
  • When my hands are cold I warm them between my thighs. Are your ears cold?
  • I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA!
  • If a man said he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it
  • Every few years I come to the realization that I was such an idiot just a few years ago.
  • I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
  • I believe in karma That means I can do bad things to people I don't like and assume they deserved it .
  • Turn your wounds into wisdom.
  • Here's an idea, how about everyone stfu and quit bitching about lame posts and just steal statuses like you're here for anyways. Better yet, come up with your own shit if it's such a big deal you uncreative douches. Now let the dislikes and vulgar comments begin.
  • Somewhere in the world right now a honeybadger is sitting alone crying because no one believes that he DOES care.
  • Life is only as great as the risks you're willing to take.
  • I don't always post updates...but when I do, I prefer status stalker...stay lazy my friends.
  • Many things give us joy in life, but not nearly as much joy as finding money in a parking lot.
  • New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
  • Thank you for giving me pieces of your heart to fill in the breaks in mine.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic. Last scene: him going underwater. 1st Scene in Inception: him waking up on a beach.
  • The happiness of your life...depends on the quality of your thoughts.
  • So, to put a positive spin on Daylight Savings Time, instead of "losing an hour of sleep" on a Saturday...we should put our clocks ahead at 4pm on a Wednesday, it would be "leave work early day".
  • I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'
  • ALL relationships go through shit. REAL relationships get through shit

Top Hilarious Statuses for Facebook

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These days, hundreds of millions of people use Facebook to interact socially with their buddies. In reality, almost 300,000 status updates are uploaded to Facebook every minute. Facebook is a fantastic area to sign in to view what crucial things folks are doing and also thought and feelings individuals are believing.  When you go on Facebook, a little box hangs there, asking you, "Exactly what's on your mind?" Your solution to that inquiry will certainly show up in the news feed of every active Facebook buddy. Just what is on your thoughts? Now is your possibility to say something fascinating.  we have lots of status for facebook like Hilariour Facebook status, Best Facebook Status, Cool Facebook Status, Facebook Relationship Status, Hindi Facebook Status, funny status for facebook.

Obviously, locating words for your solution to this concerns is tougher than it looks. If your brain were a fishbowl, you could just stick your hand in there as well as take out a huge thought, right? But although Facebook makes it appears so, minds are not fishbowls, and also if you are feeling stuck, continue reading for inspiration on life: sessions, quotes, knowledge, phrases, as well as more.
Funny_hilarious_baby

  • To find your prince you need to kiss a few frogs not sleep with the whole pond.
  • Isn't it weird that after 30,000 years of eating bread, everyone is gluten allergic now?
  • Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
  • Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won't text me back.
  • Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
  •  Sorry I'm poor I can't afford to pay attention.
  • If you say you can't cook what your really saying is that you can't read and follow directions.
  • You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
  • I love those moments where no words are said, but you just start laughing with someone.
  • Nothing like my bank account to kill any feelings of spontaneity.
  • No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
  • I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street.
  • I'm trying to kick dairy and now I've got the milk shakes.
  • Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets.
  • You can stop trying to drive me crazy. I'm honestly close enough to walk to it from here.
  • The year is 2089. Toasters are made clear now and no one burns toast or bagels. Crime is at 0%
  • Calm the eff down, different flavored Oreo s. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.
  • I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
  • I'm starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.


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Top Funny Facebook Status in Hindi

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Your Facebook status show your personality and also includes a lot more flavor after your profile photo. Update your facebook status with the following standing updates and also obtain even more good friends, remarks, like, share. All this considering that your condition claims a lot more about your present state of mind as well as your perspective. Post these amusing condition updates from facebookstatus99.com and also swipe the smile on your fb close friend's faces ... We present ideal popular amusing great facebook statuses updates that will get a lot of like, share and also comments. So why you feel shy and also meeky? Update your facebook wall with funny status in hindi and also funny statuses. Show the whole your buddies as well as community how awesome you are.

facebook_status

  • Santa-: kadi chawal kha rha tha khate-2 ek makkhi khane pe bethne lagi.,
    • Santa-: makkhi udate hue bola chal pagli ye WO nahi hai Jo tu samjh rahi hai..
    Hathi aur ka Chinti ka prem vivah hua,
    Dusre din hi haathi mar gya,..
    Chinti boli " waah re mohbbat " ek din ka pyar diya or sari umar kaber khodne ka kaam diya...

  • Patni ne pati ko surprise karne  ke liye
    • Kitchen me jaa ke new sim se call ki or boli hello darling
    Pati-: bola baad me call kro abi WO kuttiya kitchen me hai...

  • Airhostess :- sir kya loge ?..
    • Santa :- kheer ,bread pakora and tandoori chicken with naan,
    Airhostess :- sir tussi jahaaz te aaye ho,
    Apne pyo de vyaah te ni..

  • Santa ek baraf ka piece utha ke usey gaur se dekh rha tha ,
    • Banta:- kya dekh rhe ho ?
    Santa :- dekh raha hun ye leak khan se kar  raha hai..

  • Banta :- mere Dada ne 1857 ki Jung me dushman ki taang kaat di thi,
    •  Dost :- gardan q ni kaati,
    Banta :- wo pehle hi kati padi thi.

  • Banta :- agr hukumat mere hath me ho toh me mulk  ki takdir badal dun.
    • Wife :- tum pehle salwar toh badal lo
    Subeh se meri pehn kar ghum rhe ho...

  • Santa:- Maa mei  bda ho kar airforce me jaunga,
    • Maya :- mujhe kese pta chalega ye mere bete ka jahaaz hai,
    Santa :- me guzarte waqt ghar pe bomb fenk dunga,..

  • Do hijde ek shaadi ki badhai dene gye,
    • Haye - Haye  main toh 1100 lungi,
    Dusri boli main toh 2100 lungi
    Peeche se Santa bola 2310 le lo us me  bhi hai..

  • Santa police station aaya aur bola mujhe arrest karo mene apni biwi k sar pe danda Mara
    • Police: wo mar gyi ?
    Banta :- Na woh Bach gyi ,
    Ab meri kher nahi...

  • Banta calls wife :- me ghar nahi  aa sakta car ka steering  gear. chori ho hua hai.
    • After some time he call again
    Aa rha hun  pehle pichli seat pe beith gya tha..

  • Santa ka 20 saal ke baad baccha hua
    • WO udaas ho gya
    Banta :- yaar udaas q hai ?
    Santa :- 20 saal ke baad baccha hua WO bhi itna sa,..

  • Santa 60 birthday
    • Banta :- ye cake pe balb q lagaya hai.
    Santa :-  60 candles lagaane me mushkil
     Ho rahi thi isiliye 60 watt ka bulb laga diya...

  • Banta ek sadhu se bola baba meri biwi bhut preshan karti hai,
    • Koi uppaye btao,,,
    Sadhu :- beta upaye hota toh mai saadhu q banta ???..

  • Santa 2 saal pehle mujhe bukhar aaya tha
    • DR.:-  toh ab kya hua??
    Santa :- apne nahane ko mna kiya tha, ab Naha lun???..

  • 1 sardar police station k bahar se
    • Gujra or poster pe pdha
    " wanted for rape & murder.."
    Santa ne ander jaa kar kaha
    " I want to apply for this job "...

  • Boy :- Santa ghar pe hai ?.
    • Aunty :- haan beta abi aaya hai maggi Khan raha hai..
     Tujhe bhook lagi hai ?
    Boy :- haan
    Aunty:-  toh tu bhi
    ghar se khaa kar aa..

  • Santa :- tu office me toh sher banke ghumta hai ghr pe tujhe kya ho jata hai,
    • Banta :- ghr pe bhi Sher hi hun bas upper durga Maa sawar ho jati hai..

  • Wife nha kar bahar Nikli Santa use ghoor raha tha
    • Wife romantic hokar kuch karne ka irada hai kya.??
    Santa ne 2 thappad mare or bola kamini mere garm paani me q Nahai,..

  • Raati sajna kol beithe der ho gyi ,
    • Der aisi hoi k saver ho gyi,
    Fer??.
    Fer ki baapu daang le k beithya c
    Ghr aaunde hi yaara di repair ho Gyi..

  • Ek ladka ladki ek dusre ko bhut pyar karte the Ladki ldke se boli,
    • Ladki:- meri mummy ko tum but pasand ho,
    Ladka:- kuch b ho me shadi tumse hi karunga,
    Aunty se kehna mujhe bhool jaye.!!!

  • Husband:- raat ko mene ek horror movie dekhi,
    • Ek chudel kabhi mere aage kabhi mete piche or kabhi sath chal rhi thi,
    Wife :- kaun c movie thi??.
    Husband :- apni shaadi ki...
  • 2 chuhe bike pe ghum rhe the tbi Sher be lift maangi to ek chuha khada ho kar bola " soch le fir Teri Ma kahegi ki gundo k sath Khan gumne laga hai aaj Karl,..

  • Girl me tumhare liye aag pe chl salt I hun, angaron me nha sakti hu,
    • Boy:- so sweet kya tum mujhe abi Milne as skti ho.?
    Girl :- pagal ho liya dhoop dekhi h kitni tej hai..

  • Chuhi chuhe se kya tum mujhse sacha love karte ho?
    • Chuha:- I really love you very much,
    Chuhi :- kya tum mere liye jaan de skate ho ??.
    Chuha:- sorry kanji bhi nahi,
    Chuhi:- q ???.
    Chuha in Desai style:- Saadi maa nu putt ni labhne ,tenu yaad bathere..

  • Santa :- tumne bhagwan se kya manga?.
    • Wife :- ki h sath janam sath rahe or apne kya manga??.
    Santa :- yhi ki ye mera satwa janam ho..

  • Ladka:- I love you
    • Laski :- sorry me kisi or se pyar karti hun,
    Ladka udaas ho gya or for achanak se bhagne lag gya, bola Teri mummy ko btaunga.
    Laski :- ruk Na kamime I love u too,

  • Qatil:- try karna mujhe Kumar kaid ho faansi nhi,
    • Lawyer:- don't worry !
    .
    After court

    Qatil:- liya hua?,
    Lawyer:- bad I mushkil se umarqid mili WO toh riha kar the the..

  • Yamraaj hijde se -: aao tumhara bhi hisab dekh le, duniya me liya kar k aaye ho??

    • Hijda:- aaye aaye!,
    De kar hi liya bheja tha Jo kuch karte k aate...

  • 1 aadmi ap ni biwi ka antim sanskar karte k ghr ja rha tha,
    • Achanak bijli chamki  baadal garje,
    Barish shuru ho gyi,
    Dukhi aadmi bola lagta hai pahunc gyi...

  • Husband :- agr meri lottery nikal gyi toh tum kya krogi,
    • Biwi :- me aadhe pese leker tujhe chor dungi,
    Husband :- meri 100 Rs nikali hai ye le 50 Rs or dafa hoja,..

  • Principal:- school 8 bje ka that or tum 9 bje aa rhe ho,?
    • Santa:- tussi Na mera intzaar Na karya kro school shuru kar diya kro,..

  • Kisi be sardaar ko sms kiya  k agar
    • Tujh me dimag hai toh 200 Rs ka recharge bhej
    Or hoshiyar hai toh 300 ka bhej,
    Sardaar ne 500 ka bheja or likha, Hum me dimag bhi hai or hoshyari bhi,..

  • Teacher:- tum bade hokar kya karoge?
    • Student:- shaadi,..

    Teacher:- nahi mera matlab hai kya bnoge,.
    Student:- dulhaa banuga,

    Teacher:- Ohoo I mean to say kya hassil karoge ?
    Student :- dulhan

    Teacher:- Abe  matlab bde hoker mummy papa ka liye kya karoge,?..
    Student:- bahu launga,..

    Teacher:- haraamkhor tumhare mummy papa tumse kya chahte hai?.
    Students:- pota."!

    Teacher:- abbé Teri zindagi ka
     kya maksad hai?.
    Student:- hum do hmare do..

  • Hzaro ki kismat tere hath thi,agar
    • Pass kara deta toh kya baat thi,
    God:-  girlfriends thodi kam banata  to kya bat thi, kitabe toh sari tere paas thi,!

  • Galib :- mehfil mei kahin hmare jute kho Gye toh ghar kese jayenge,..
    • ..  ..
    Humane kha
    Aap shayari shuru toh kijiye itne aayenge  k gine nahi jayenge,..

  • Santa:- je bachpan vich maa di gal suni hondi taan aaj eh din Na dekhna penda,
    • Banta:- ki kehandi c Maa ?.
    Santa:- jado gal e ni suni ki pta ki kehndi si..

  • Mobile compani  k kisi salesman ko loose motion ho jaye to WO doctor ko Kaiser btayega??
    • Doctor Saab subah se unlimited outgoing chal raha  h.
    Under se nyi 2 ringtone Sunai de rhi h
    Pet main balence khatam ho gya h...

  • Sardaar k bagiche me bhut share ped the,
    • Sardar ne naukar ko bola pedo me pani daal
    Naukar bola sahab barish aa rha hai,
    Sardaar:- abe buddhu chattri pakad k daal Na...

  • Jaat :- byaah kregi k?
    • Ladki:- tameez se bat karo!
    Jaat :- my dear girlfriend, with due respectfully I beg 2 u say that ..
    .
    .
    .
    Mere the byah kregi ke???..

Funny Facebook Status Jokes | Messages

 , ,
Peopels love facebook messages, quotes and also condition. if you are additionally one and also seeking funny facebook status,Hilariour Facebook status, Best Facebook Status, Cool Facebook Status, Facebook Relationship Status, Hindi Facebook Status  and also quotes for facebook then you are on the best website. You can discover below all type of hilarious status for facebook in hindi as well as english. Make Your Fb friends Smile By Discussing Facebook Condition. Get the quotes on examinations for facebook as well as share it on the wall of lesson friends to desire them for exams in a very cute method. You can Obtain the different as well as best Facebook standing suggestions from our website facebookstatus99.com. Share your feeling by upgrading cool condition on facebook. Tag your pals on your facebook conditions and lighten their day because being a part of somebody's joy and happiness is fantastic. below are charming facebook condition as well as quotes from popular characters for individuals which prefer to check out and discuss it with others.


  • Ek bacha  har roj math wale teacher k ghr phn karta tha master ki wife kitni bar Kha h WO mar gya hai bar- bar q phn karte ho?? Bacha :- sun kar acha lagta hai,..
  • Waiter  :- sardar ji apki lassi me makkhi gir gyi hai, Sardar:- koi gall nhi, insaan ka dil Bda Hona chahiye itni si makkhi kitni lassi pee legi..
  • Saas ( bahu se ) :- bhagwan ne  tumhe  2-2 aankhe di chawal  se 2-4 pathar nahi nikal sakti  kya..??? Bahu :- very funny bhagwan ne tumhe bhi  32 daant diye pathar bhi nhi chaba salti  kya..???
  • Salesman :- sir, cochroach ke  liye, powder loge  kya? Santa :- bola ji  nahi hum cochroach ko itna laad  pyar ni karte aaj powder lga denge toh saale Kal "DEO " mangenge...  Salesman  fainted ..
  • Aashiq ne  chaand  se  ek din poocha.."Bta  mera mehboob kesa hai..???"Chand  ne Kaha..." pehli gall eh k main tere pyou da naukar nhi.. Te  duji  gall eh k inni dooron  nazar v kuch  ni aaunda..Te teeji gall eh k eho  jehe kanjar khaane Zameen tak hi rkhia kro mainu  na wich paya kro
  • Child of 2014:- Rosy  aunty:  beta mummy ghar pe hai kya???Bacha sprite peete hue-" apko papa se  Milna h na papa ghar pe hai" Sidhi baat no bakwaas....
  • Bujuarg :- beta  kaise ho ,Ladka:-  me thik hun , Bujuarg :- padhai kesi chal  rahi hai, Ladka:- Bilkul  apki  jindagi  ki tareh, Bujuarg :- matlb ??? Ladka :- bhagwan  bharose...
  • Boy:- tum ladkiya into khoobsurat q hoti hai ?..
    • Girl :- itrate hue Hume god ne apne hath se banaya hai,
    Boy:- keh toh aise rhi hai jese hame toh mistariyo ne banaya tha theke par...

  • Laxmi ji ko ullu bola :-mata ji meri koi puja nahi karta hai,
    • Mata  : jao aaj se diwali ke 10 din pehle har ullu ki puja hogi..
    Or us din ka naam hoga karvachoth...

  • BF on msg-: hey sweetheart, kya kr rahi ho,?
    • G F-: meri tbiyat kharab hai Janu sone ja rha hu or tum?
    .GF -:main cinema hall me tere piche betha hu Haraamjadi...

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Funny Status for Facebook

 
Peopels are crazy about facebook messages, quotes and status. if you are also one and looking for funny facebook status and quotes then you are on the right site. You can find here all type of funny status for facebook in hindi and english. Make Your Fb Friends Smile By Sharing Facebook Status. Get the quotes on exams for facebook and share it on the wall of class mates to wish them for exams in a very cute way. You can Get the different and best Facebook status ideas from our site statusforfacebook99. Share your feeling by updating cool status on facebook. Tag your friends on your facebook statuses and brighten their day because being a part of someone's happiness is great. here are cute facebook status and quotes from famous personalities for the people who like to read and share it with others.



Facebook_Funny_Status

Check Also- Best Whatsapp Status


Please Save Water and drink beer.
We can never buy love. but still we can still pay for it.
My study period = 10 minutes. My break time = 4 hours.
Today my dad say to me carry forget study and on with your girl friend.
Funny bunny money.
Rent your girl friend and get i phone 6.
This status is ?
When you can't marry the one you love marry the one who is rich.
I am in love with iPhone 6 and i can rent my girl friend for iPhone 6.
My Girl friend laugh like buffalo. 
You don't have to like me i am not a facebook status.
If Sunny deol and Sunny leone merry they will also become Sunny Deol.


Your Facebook Status show your personality and adds more spice after your profile picture. Update your facebook status with the following status updates and get more friends, comments, like, share. All this because your status says more about your current mood and your attitude. Post these funny status updates from http://statusforfacebook99.blogspot.in/ and steal the smile on your fb friend's faces... We present best popular funny good facebook statuses updates that will get a lot of like, share and comments. So why you feel shy and meeky? Upgrade your facebook world with cool and funny statuses. Show the whole your friends and community how cool you are.